Don’t prejudge people by their silos; Gwinnett Forum; May 17, 2024

“You live and learn” you hear often. But  this is not actually implemented by enough of us. This Mother’s Day, I am thinking about the saying in regard to the mother of my kids.

I was born in New York City, the son of an undocumented French refugee (my Dad) and the grandson of blue-collar Italian immigrants on my Mom’s side. Growing up in tough areas, I was much smarter than my peers and they resented me for it. So, I eventually changed from a child nerd, becoming an aggressive, “Fonzie” looking and acting teenager. I was not afraid to fight, and did often. It was the way you survived in the city.

My father was a smart but poorly educated workaholic who worked his way up from sweeping the factory floors to being a part owner. But I hardly knew him. He put every hour…and every spare dime…into his NYC business, which eventually went bankrupt. 

He could not find a job in New York but secured one in rural Georgia. So, the family moved to the Georgia hill country when I was 16. As you might expect, it was a very difficult transition. It was the 1960s and I was the only Yankee in my high school.

Regrettably, before I moved, my preconceived notion was that the entire South was backwards, and all Southerners were dumb. When I met a fascinating girl on my first day at the University of Georgia, I learned that my opinion of Georgians was a very big mistake. 

She was pretty…a farm girl from rural central Georgia with a very deep Southern accent. She was also extremely bright and intuitive, the sharpest person I had ever met. After a year, she became my wife and eventually the mother of our three kids.

Thanks to my wife, I learned that a person’s accent, whether Southern Georgia or Southern Brooklyn, does not indicate their intelligence, or their worth. I learned that we must evaluate everyone individually based on their actions.

In today’s tribalistic America, it is increasingly difficult for people to accept folks from the other “tribe.” I would encourage my fellow Georgians not to simply accept what you might hear about the other side. Yes, there are bad apples. But we cannot simply say that the other side is flawed and that those who are not are the “good ones.” That is bigotry. 

We cannot just throw all members of any racial, ethnic or political group into broad categories. Not all conservatives are domineering bigots. Not all liberals want to confiscate your guns. Not all undocumented Hispanic immigrants are here committing violent crimes. Not all Jews are rich. Not all young black men are violent.

So don’t prejudge people by their silos. Not all Yankees are dumb, or smart.